Sitting in Miss’s class she could tell something was wrong. When our eyes connected, I immediately pulled away. We had been here once before, that was the day I learned that Miss better hear it from me first if I had been misbehaving. I took that to heart and we never had to revisit that lesson. I knew now 100% of the time, what was expected of me, and what the consequences would be. Very rarely did I have to be reminded. I looked at the clock, there was still 45 minutes of the period. 45 minutes to figure out how I was going to explain to Miss what I needed. How was I supposed to ask for or talk about something I didn’t fully understand? Our eyes connected again. This time her eyes said, ‘What did you do.’ I had spent most of that day close to tears and her look broke me. A tear dropped from my left eye as I shrugged my shoulders in response. Her eyes turned firm, Miss despised shrugging, and my heart broke a little more. Quietly, I gathered my books up moving into the sound booth to continue my work. I did complete my work in those 45 minutes but every page was full of tears.
I didn’t understand what I was feeling. Or why I was
feeling it. My behaviour has been perfect lately. In fact, it had been weeks
since Miss was forced to discipline me. I was so proud of myself. Miss had even
praised my excellent behaviour in front of the Vice-Principal. I thought being
good was supposed to make me feel proud. I thought the whole point of Miss and
mine arrangement was to teach me to be a better human being; so, I didn’t need
to be spanked my entire life. I thought I was past the spanking thing. I was
behaving, Miss was proud, so why was I feeling so…. ill?
The bell rang causing me to jump. Quietly, I closed my books stacking them neatly on the corner of the table. I waited for Miss to enter the booth. I knew she would it was just a matter of time. Stoically, I sat waiting on my disciplinarian. I was still trying to figure out how to explain all my feelings. Miss entered on a mission. She was determined to learn what I had done. In nervous tension, I placed my feet on the seat of the chair and my chin on my knees. Miss could tell I had been crying since I locked myself in the booth 45 minutes ago. I couldn’t open the conversation. I didn’t know how. I sat curled into as much of a ball as I could manage; wanting Miss to make the first move.
“What’s with the crying, little girl,” Miss questioned?
“I don’t know, Miss.”
“What did you do, Sunshine?”
“Nothing, I promise you, Miss. I’ve been a good girl,” I blubbered out.
“Then why are you so upset?”
“I don’t know how to explain it,” I sniffed wiping my nose on my sleeve.
“Try, Sunshine,” Miss encouraged.
“I don’t want you to think I’m weird.”
“Sunshine, you know better than that. Start talking,” Miss ordered gently.
“I don’t feel good and I don’t understand why.”
“You don’t feel well how?”
Looking from Miss, to the ground, to the corner, and back
at Miss I tried to find the words.
“This month has been super busy. There’s been a lot on my
plate,” I started.
“Stage managing a show is a hard job with a full course
load.”
“I know, Miss. And I’ve been working hard at being
good,” I continued.
“You have been extremely well-behaved. I’m very proud of
you.”
More tears started flowing. How could I make her spank me
when she was so proud? “Please don’t say that, Miss.”
“Why? Have you done something, Sunshine,” Miss questioned crossing her arms?
“No, but I think I need something and I don’t understand
why.”
“Okay! Okay! Okay! Stop the tears. I can’t understand you
when you are crying that hard.”
Obediently, I slowly regained control of my tears. Miss
decided we were going to be talking for a while and took up position on the
table across from me.
“I don’t understand why I feel this way.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how stressed are you,” Miss asked?
“Like a 15.”
“That bad?”
“Yes, Miss. And every time I’m not busy I find myself
daydreaming about misbehaving,” I confessed.
“And?”
“And I don’t want to misbehave. I’ve worked so hard at
being a good girl lately. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“But?”
“But it won’t go away, Miss. And I don’t know what to do. I
don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
“I thought, being a good girl was supposed to make me
feel happy and balanced.”
“But it hasn’t, has it?”
“I really like that you’re proud of me…but no it hasn’t.” Tears started to flow again. I didn’t fully understand what being into spanking was at that point. I truly thought once I could follow all the rules of life that my spanking urge would go away. I thought Miss would think me weird that I wanted or needed a spanking, for being a good girl.
“Sunshine, what did I tell you, when we started this arrangement? Do you remember?”
“That this is my safe place and I could tell you anything without
judgment,” I answered.
“Have I kept my promise?”
“Yes, Miss.”
“And what did you promise? Do you remember,” Miss questioned?
“That, I’d be honest no matter what because I’m not a
freak.”
“Are you keeping that promise,” Miss urged?
“I’m trying,” I confessed.
“Calm yourself down and try a little harder. Deep down you
know what you need. You need to listen to it and voice it positively.
We’ve talked about positive and negative ways to voice your spanking needs,
haven’t we,” Miss reminded?
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Tell me, what’s a negative way to react to how you’re
feeling,” Miss prompted?
“I’m not sure.”
“Sunshine, you do. Think about it and answer me honestly.”
“Skipping your class because I wanted to avoid this,” I answered quietly.
“And what would have happened if you skipped my class?”
“You would have strapped me, hard and bare-bottomed.”
“And I would have been?”
“Disappointed in me.”
“Am I disappointed in you right now?”
“No, Ma’am.”
“So, let’s flip it around. What is a positive way to voice
your spanking needs,” Miss asked, always the teacher?
“Talking to you about it like we’re doing.”
“So, you know what is expected of you,” Miss stated.
“Yes, Miss.”
“And deep down you know what you need.”
“I don’t, Miss.”
“Yes, you do. You’re just scared. Are you listening to me
through those tears,” Miss prompted?
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“I’m going to send you to the corner for a bit. I want you
to think about how you are feeling and what you think you need to help you feel
better.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
I still wasn’t sure if I could fully voice my needs without
the fear of rejection. I knew I was just given an order I was expected
to follow. Timidly, I placed myself in the corner; a little sloppy I have to
admit.
“Properly, Sunshine just because you aren’t in trouble
doesn’t mean you get lazy,” Miss corrected.
Immediately, I stood straight, feet together, hands on my
head. Miss left me to think, while she cleaned up the classroom.
The longer I stood there the more I realized what I needed to ask for and how.
Twenty minutes later as I heard Miss re-enter the sound booth, I knew I was
ready to do what I needed to.
“Come back and sit, Sunshine.”
“Yes, Miss.”
Lowering myself back in my spanking chair I waited for Miss
to lead again.
“Did you have enough time in the corner,” Miss asked?
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“And what did you come up with?”
“Miss, I know I’ve been a good girl recently but there’s
been so much stress with the play and all my classes. I’m afraid I’m going to
do something bad. I don’t feel balanced…I think a spanking will help. Please Miss,
can I have a spanking,” I submitted?
“See Sunshine, you did know what you needed. Up you get.”
“Yes, Miss.”
Standing I moved to the right of the chair. I watched and
waited as Miss sat and adjusted herself in the chair. Reaching up she took a
hold of my left wrist in encouragement to climb over her knee. I followed her
lead although slightly disappointed or maybe a little confused that I wasn’t bare. After
Miss made sure I was positioned correctly for her comfort I felt her right hand
caressing my bottom a little.
“What I’m giving you today is known as a stress relief
spanking. It’s meant to relax you, allow you to cry if you need to, and balance
your emotions out. Understand?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“You have a job during this spanking. I want you to think
about all the reasons you’re so stressed and let all your worries about them
go; what’s meant to happen will happen. You can’t control it or change it.
Understand?”
“Yes, Miss.”
“Lastly, I want you to think about what being a good girl
has meant to you. And why it’s better to be a good girl than a bad girl.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“There’s going to be very little talking during this
spanking. When I tell you to do something I want quick obedience.”
“I promise, Miss.”
I felt Miss’s hand rub my left cheek and then my right and back again. I cringed as I felt Miss’s hand leave my bottom but the spanking started light. It stung for sure but not even close to what I was used to receiving in discipline. The light spanks continued for what felt like minutes and then became heavier and heavier, and heavier. I was focused on all my school work, all the late nights at school working on the play, and all my responsibilities at home. I started realizing what Miss said was right. If I do what is required of me what’s meant to happen will happen. I could feel the tension in my mind start to relax but my body was still tight. I was so in my mind that I didn’t feel that Miss had stopped spanking me and was pulling my hair out of my face.
“Sunshine, lower your jeans for me,” Miss softly ordered.
I tried to be obedient but my head was swimming. I knelt
off Miss’s knee. I knew she had said that much; I missed what I was supposed
to do next.
“Kneel up, Hun.”
I heard that one and knelt up. Miss undid my jeans, lowered
them, and helped me back over her knee. I was quietly crying away all the
stress I had been feeling lately. Miss started light again, then spanked
heavier, and heavier, and heavier again. My tears were flowing faster and
harder. I felt so tired.
“I’m going to lower your panties now. Not because you’ve
been bad but because I feel a bare-bottomed spanking will help you,” Miss quietly informed.
I didn’t fight her. I had no need or want to. I raised my
hips up a little. Miss took that as my ‘yes ma’am’ and lowered my panties. I
placed myself back in the proper position. I sniffled as Miss’s hand left my bottom
yet again. The spanking continued I was so relaxed I could have fallen asleep
over her knee. Every stressed out, put upon, can’t handle life feeling was
gone. I never knew a spanking could do this. I only thought of it as a correction
until that day. It felt wonderful. I suddenly noticed that the spanks had
stopped. For how long I had no idea.
“Kneel down, Hun, and pull your panties up,” Miss softly slide me off her knee.
In a relaxed haze, I fumbled to reclaim my dignity. Finally winning I looked at Miss through very sleepy eyes, “I’m so tired.”
“But do you feel better?”
“Yes, Miss. It’s like everything is gone,” I answered relieved.
“Good girl.”
“I’m so tired, Miss.”
Miss motioned for me to stand. Obeying Miss immediately
helped me put my jeans back on. Standing face to face with my disciplinarian,
Miss reached up, brushed my hair out of my face, and dried away my tears. Taking
me by the wrist I allowed Miss to lead me to the props room. I watched as Miss
set up the cot.
“Into bed little one,” Miss pointed.
“Yes, Miss.”
“I’ll come get you later.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“I’ll demit you from classes. You are to sleep,” Miss ordered in a firm tone.
“Thank you, Miss.”
Climbing into bed I pulled the covers up to my neck.
Curling up on my side I watched Miss exit the props room, closing the door
and locking it; placing her hand on the door she contemplated if it was time to
tell the whole truth yet. She felt great knowing she had protected
and helped someone understand their spanking needs. Miss knew our time was
rapidly coming to a close as I was preparing to head to college. I knew
it too deep down but we never voiced it to each other.
“Good night, my good girl. You’ve been an excellent student
and I will forever be proud of the person you’ve become.”
With that Miss left me to sleep my exhaustion away.
